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Zaeed and Hel

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Zaeed: "Well, FUCK YOURSELF! You ain't getting a gawd-damn story."


Zaeed is the youngest of the Biotic 6....


Zaeed: "I thought I said these FUCKERS weren't gettin' a story?"


He was one of the genetically created human bitotic babies, their God-mother Miranda Lawson just HAD to create. He was the smallest of all the infants. That didn't stop Zaeed from getting into the most trouble and beating up some of the biggest kids.

He never hit the ladies though......  except this one time.

Hel was one of the first dhampirs he had met, and she HATED him.  She blamed Baby Joker for taking her BFF away, when they were dating.  She decided to follow her friend and ruin the date. When Zaeed heard of this, he arrived and confronted the "C-Blocking Cunt"---- How punched him in the gut.... breaking several ribs.

Realizing that Hel was not ordinary girl, but a  "Super C-Blocking Cunt" and Biotic Charged her through a rock.

The fight continued way past Baby Joker's date, and the cops got involved..... by calling Shepard and Ra Slayer.

Summer ended and the random surprise attacks entered the classrooms, the correctional centers, back into the classrooms....  somehow it ended up on the dance floor of the Senior Prom Pre Party. They were gonna fight, but...
Zaeed And Hel Slayer by SuperMeja


Years later:  Senior Year College.

Zaeed felt his neck and sat up in bed. "Did you bite me?"

Hel's eyes widened. She climbed off of him.  " I just nipped you--"

"You fucking bit me!? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?"

Hel punched him in the chest, "Get out of your feelings---"

Zaeed jumped out of the bed and raced to the bathroom. "How the FUCK am I gonna graduate from the N7 fucking program!?"



Hel's mind raced with worry.  She didn't mean to bite him. She wondered what she could do. Who could she call for a bottle of Vamp-B-Gone?


Suddenly, Zaeed stopped ranted and crawled back into bed as if nothing happened. Hel was blinked, "Are you alright?" she asked.

Zaeed murmured in the pillow.

Hel scrunched her face. "What?"

He murmured louder.

"The Fucking FUCK?"

Zaeed turned his head and groaned, "I kinda forgot to put on a rubber."

"You.... ASSHOLE!"


Zaeed rolled over, "Look, we're even now. Your father, my fathers are going to murder me.  Being a vampire will give me a fighting--- OW! Damnit! Stop slapping me! OW! Quit it!!"





17 years later...

"And THAT'S when I proposed to your mother."  Zaeed concluded beaming with buzzed pride.

Hel, smirked, "And THAT'S why I keep your father away from the bar, kids."


"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Their firstborn, Damien, mumbled under his breath as he left the table to vomit in the restroom.


One of their twins, Alexis, took her father's glass of Plum Wine and dumped it in the nearby fake plant.


While the other, Alicia, just continued texting about how her drunk father has embarrassed her in public---- again.


Hel and Zaeed's toddler, Brandi, took the opportunity to snatch and eat cherry tomatoes off of everyone's plate.
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